Many of my clients and students say they want to be in a relationship. However, when I ask them how they feel about the word commitment they shudder - and so did I when I first considered it! Give this simple exercise a try; close your eyes and feel the word commitment in your body...what comes forward? How does it feel? Does it feel like warm fuzzies, or like a brick in your stomach?
What I have found is the word “commitment” brings up fear if one is not really committed in a positive way to themselves. What does commitment to oneself mean? Committing to ourselves means learning to love ourselves no matter what. It is about seeking, finding and celebrating our sacredness and our humanness. When we arrive at the place of accepting ourselves, warts and all, we relax into a place of peace, contentment, happiness and wholeness. This is the vibration that naturally attracts loving relationships to us. Where we are within ourselves inevitably determines who we attract and the quality of those relationships.
If we are not committed in a positive way to ourselves, there are usually unconscious commitments running us from behind the scenes. For example, for years I was unconsciously committed to my victim story, to my depression, my unhealthy relationship with food and my angst. You have probably heard the phrase: if you do what you have always done, you will get what you always got. Until I decided to do something different and commit to my healing journey not only did life not work well – it was really painful and scary.
The healing journey consists of clearing out limiting or negative beliefs. When we do this, we naturally align with Spirit. When we release fear and hurt, love is what is left. Once we are in a loving relationship with ourselves and Spirit, the Universe becomes a joy filled, supportive and magical place. But first we have to commit to ourselves. We have to dig in, identify, and release our pain. It is vital to release the blocks that prevent the flow of love and prosperity into our lives. It is as if we have to become the loving and compassionate keeper of our bodies, minds and spirits. Once we do this, commitment is no longer the scary notion it once was. Because we know no matter what we are safe, supported and adored. When we have the foundation of commitment to ourselves, commitment to another is easy.
How do you feel about the word commitment? What are you committed to? Write to me and share your thoughts, I would love to hear from you!
Monday, October 19, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Pandora's Box
We learn about relationships from what we witness and experience as children. Patterns of thoughts and beliefs eventually emerge in our lives, giving us information to support us in making conscious choices and changes. Most of us do not tend to question what was handed down to us from our parents and grandparents, until our lives become unmanageable, unworkable or excruciating. This was certainly the case for me! After a series of horrible relationships, I was finally ready to look within. I had to admit there were distinct patterns in how I was treated by men. Was it simply a coincidence? Were all men lying, abusive, cheaters? Did I DESERVE to be treated badly? I was tired of my reality and tired of buying into these beliefs. I wanted to happy, I wanted a great relationship, I wanted to believe in true love. But it was clear that I needed to do something radically different to get a different result. So I surrendered, I prayed, I asked for help, and I chose to look inside.
I was afraid of opening my personal Pandora’s Box. I had always thought there was something inherently wrong with me. But what I found as I lifted the lid, were simply outdated beliefs, some guilt and a lot of misunderstandings. As I sat on the floor sifting through the painful contents, I asked Spirit how I could manifest a man who would respect, cherish and love me unconditionally; I got that I needed to respect, cherish and love myself unconditionally. I thought REALLY? Then I thought YUCK! Then I thought, ISN’T THERE ANOTHER WAY? Nope, not unless you want to play games the rest of your life! I was in my 30’s…I wanted to be done playing games. I decided to dive back into my Pandora’s Box and learn to love myself no matter what.
I faced my vulnerability, I faced awful mistakes I had made, I faced my disappointments , and my pain. I cried hundreds of suppressed tears from the recent past as well as from my childhood. I love this quote from Marianne Williamson: If you have 100 tears to cry, 98 will not be enough. I had always thought of myself as stoic and strong, often holding back tears that burned the back of my eyes. What I did not know was those tears were still in me, bouncing around, weighing me down and distorting the landscape of my life.
Crying my tears made me feel lighter and more free. It also changed the terrain of my life. It is by grappling with our darkness that it can be brought into the light and pain can be transformed in to understanding. In this way suffering can be a powerful catalyst and used as a springboard to self awareness. So what I found as I kept digging and digging, at the very bottom of my box, was something clear, beautiful, pure and precious. It was my Spiritual Essence. We all have the opportunity to tap into Spirit within, after all it is what breaths us - but first we have the courage to make the journey! The upside from doing this work is a greater sense of connection, compassion (for ourselves and others) and remarkable relationships. Is the journey sometimes uncomfortable? Yes. Will there be tears? Probably. Is it worth it? ABSOLUTLY! My book “Manifesting Love” serves as a guide supporting you through this confusing terrain, and so will I! So, please write me with any question or comments, I would love to hear from you and be honored to support you.
I was afraid of opening my personal Pandora’s Box. I had always thought there was something inherently wrong with me. But what I found as I lifted the lid, were simply outdated beliefs, some guilt and a lot of misunderstandings. As I sat on the floor sifting through the painful contents, I asked Spirit how I could manifest a man who would respect, cherish and love me unconditionally; I got that I needed to respect, cherish and love myself unconditionally. I thought REALLY? Then I thought YUCK! Then I thought, ISN’T THERE ANOTHER WAY? Nope, not unless you want to play games the rest of your life! I was in my 30’s…I wanted to be done playing games. I decided to dive back into my Pandora’s Box and learn to love myself no matter what.
I faced my vulnerability, I faced awful mistakes I had made, I faced my disappointments , and my pain. I cried hundreds of suppressed tears from the recent past as well as from my childhood. I love this quote from Marianne Williamson: If you have 100 tears to cry, 98 will not be enough. I had always thought of myself as stoic and strong, often holding back tears that burned the back of my eyes. What I did not know was those tears were still in me, bouncing around, weighing me down and distorting the landscape of my life.
Crying my tears made me feel lighter and more free. It also changed the terrain of my life. It is by grappling with our darkness that it can be brought into the light and pain can be transformed in to understanding. In this way suffering can be a powerful catalyst and used as a springboard to self awareness. So what I found as I kept digging and digging, at the very bottom of my box, was something clear, beautiful, pure and precious. It was my Spiritual Essence. We all have the opportunity to tap into Spirit within, after all it is what breaths us - but first we have the courage to make the journey! The upside from doing this work is a greater sense of connection, compassion (for ourselves and others) and remarkable relationships. Is the journey sometimes uncomfortable? Yes. Will there be tears? Probably. Is it worth it? ABSOLUTLY! My book “Manifesting Love” serves as a guide supporting you through this confusing terrain, and so will I! So, please write me with any question or comments, I would love to hear from you and be honored to support you.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
"We do not see things as they are...we see things as we are." ~ The Talmud.
We all know we can look in a mirror and see a reflection of our physical selves. In a broader sense our "worldly mirror" does the same thing. How we are treated and our experieces, the quality of our life, our finances and our relationships are a few examples that allow us to bear witness to our relationship with ourselves.
If you love yourself, you will attract and be attracted to those who love you. If you struggle with self acceptance, you will struggle being accepted by others. If you hate yourself, you will find yourself in abusive and painful relationships. We allow people close to us that reflect our inner beliefs back to us. When I hated myself, I was attracted to people who mistreated me. Now that I am in a loving relationship with myself, I would never tolerate such behavior.
Most of us have heard the saying "treat others the way you want to be treated." I like to elaborate on this by saying "treat yourself the way you want others to treat you." If you want more repect do things that exemplify self respect. If you want more love in your life, love yourself. If you want to cultivate greater prosperity, go deeper in claiming your profound and innate value.
Get in the habit of asking yourself "What honors me now?" and "What does loving myself look like?" and follow through with the information that you recieve. You will find life starts to shift in powerful and positive ways!
We all know we can look in a mirror and see a reflection of our physical selves. In a broader sense our "worldly mirror" does the same thing. How we are treated and our experieces, the quality of our life, our finances and our relationships are a few examples that allow us to bear witness to our relationship with ourselves.
If you love yourself, you will attract and be attracted to those who love you. If you struggle with self acceptance, you will struggle being accepted by others. If you hate yourself, you will find yourself in abusive and painful relationships. We allow people close to us that reflect our inner beliefs back to us. When I hated myself, I was attracted to people who mistreated me. Now that I am in a loving relationship with myself, I would never tolerate such behavior.
Most of us have heard the saying "treat others the way you want to be treated." I like to elaborate on this by saying "treat yourself the way you want others to treat you." If you want more repect do things that exemplify self respect. If you want more love in your life, love yourself. If you want to cultivate greater prosperity, go deeper in claiming your profound and innate value.
Get in the habit of asking yourself "What honors me now?" and "What does loving myself look like?" and follow through with the information that you recieve. You will find life starts to shift in powerful and positive ways!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
We all grew up listening to fairy tales...how can be be blamed if we bought into them? I really DID want to be a princess, I really DID want to be rescued and adored by the handsome powerful prince. After a series of painful attempts at rescuing and being rescued, I realized it was not only ineffective - it was excrutciating and impossible. I love this quote by Tom Robbins, "We are our own dragons as well as our own hero's, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves."
What we were not told in regard to the fairy tales, is that each of the characters is an aspect of ourselves! I needed to find my inner prince, before he could show up in my life! I needed to love me, in order to attract love! It is so simple...but far from easy.
Loving from the "Inside Out" is putting ourselves at the top of our Love List - not something most of us are taught at home or in the class room. Most of us are taught to behave, do as we are told, be quiet, get good grades, clean the bathroom, etc. We learn we have to be a certain way and do certain things to gain accolades, acceptance and approval. The problem is, as we venture into the world, this "Outside In" way of being doesn't work very well.
It is a big transition to go from other-oriented to self-oriented, but this is when life can really start to work. To ask oneself "what honors me now" or "what does loving myself look like right now" and acting upon the information that comes forward, can start to change our relationship with ourselves and improve our lives almost immediately.
Now that I take care of myself first and foremost, I have more to give to others. I give from a place of abundance and overflow, rather than a depletion and exhaustion. Love yourself! Take care of yourself! Not only will you have more energy, you will attract more generous and loving people - because you are being generous and loving with yourself. You are an exquisite aspect of the Divine, and you deserve the best the Universe has to offer! You as much as anyone deserves your own love! Tell me what you think!
What we were not told in regard to the fairy tales, is that each of the characters is an aspect of ourselves! I needed to find my inner prince, before he could show up in my life! I needed to love me, in order to attract love! It is so simple...but far from easy.
Loving from the "Inside Out" is putting ourselves at the top of our Love List - not something most of us are taught at home or in the class room. Most of us are taught to behave, do as we are told, be quiet, get good grades, clean the bathroom, etc. We learn we have to be a certain way and do certain things to gain accolades, acceptance and approval. The problem is, as we venture into the world, this "Outside In" way of being doesn't work very well.
It is a big transition to go from other-oriented to self-oriented, but this is when life can really start to work. To ask oneself "what honors me now" or "what does loving myself look like right now" and acting upon the information that comes forward, can start to change our relationship with ourselves and improve our lives almost immediately.
Now that I take care of myself first and foremost, I have more to give to others. I give from a place of abundance and overflow, rather than a depletion and exhaustion. Love yourself! Take care of yourself! Not only will you have more energy, you will attract more generous and loving people - because you are being generous and loving with yourself. You are an exquisite aspect of the Divine, and you deserve the best the Universe has to offer! You as much as anyone deserves your own love! Tell me what you think!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Having experienced a series of painful, unhealthy, destructive relationships, I finally asked myself WHY? WHY are relationships so hard, WHY are they so confusing and WHY do they hurt so much? I eventually set a strong intention to figure it out. Not only so that I could be happy, but so I could light the way for others that are suffering like I suffered. I am happy to report - I finally figured it out!
In my book "Manifesting Love From the Inside Out," I share my healing journey and the process of clients. But more importantly this book serves as a healing guide for YOU, the reader, so you can make this remarkable journey for yourself.
In this blog, I will be discussing the core principles of manifesting love, tips as well as information and exercises from my book. I look forward to starting a dialogue with you and answering questions. I hope to hear from you soon!
In my book "Manifesting Love From the Inside Out," I share my healing journey and the process of clients. But more importantly this book serves as a healing guide for YOU, the reader, so you can make this remarkable journey for yourself.
In this blog, I will be discussing the core principles of manifesting love, tips as well as information and exercises from my book. I look forward to starting a dialogue with you and answering questions. I hope to hear from you soon!
Manifesting Love From the Inside Out
It seems everyone wants true love...it is the holy grail of humanity (well, that and hitting the lottery). But even money and success mean nothing if we do not have love in our lives. If we all agree about the power of love why is it so elusive, challenging and painful? If everyone is in agreement about wanting it - why is it so hard? That is exactly what we will be discussing here on this blog. The questions...and the answers about creating a true, heartfelt, loving supportive connection with another human being. So, stay tuned! I look forward to hearing from you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
